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What is the greatest problem of humanity?

The greatest problem of humanity is that we don’t truly love ourselves.

How do we solve that problem? In other words, what is the business of living?

The business of living is to love yourself mindfully, completely, genuinely, and unconditionally,
in all of your aspects—body, mind, emotions, and spirit—
in thought, word, and deed.
That is all.
When the pain becomes severe and long-lasting enough, we are motivated to seek relief.  Perhaps that is the time for us to begin to learn to love ourselves.
Body
- Introduction

We are physical beings.  That fact is at the root of our pain and sorrow of human life, as well as the great joy, excitement, and thrill that come from being alive.
- Love

• Mindfully
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices
• Completely
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices
• Genuinely
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices
• Unconditionally
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices

- Practices

• Acts of Kindness
• Meditations
• Affirmations
• Exercises

Mind
- Introduction
- Love

• Mindfully
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices
• Completely
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices
• Genuinely
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices
• Unconditionally
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices

• Acts of Kindness
• Meditations
• Affirmations
• Exercises

Emotions
- Introduction
- Love

• Mindfully
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices
• Completely
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices
• Genuinely
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices
• Unconditionally
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices

• Acts of Kindness
• Meditations
• Affirmations
• Exercises

Spirit
- Introduction
- Love

• Mindfully
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices
• Completely
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices
• Genuinely
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed
  • Practices
• Unconditionally
  • Thought
  • Word
  • Deed

Practices

• Acts of Kindness
• Meditations
• Affirmations
• Exercises

Jesus loved Himself
He was centered in His relationship with the Father
* teaching in the temple when he was a boy, Luke 2:40-52
* development of this theme in John’s gospel
- the vine and the branches
- Jesus coming to do the Father’s work

Remembering that we deserve to love ourselves
?You can search throughout the whole universe for someone who is
more worthy of your love and compassion than you are, but that
being is not to be found.?
?The Buddha
Believing that ?You Deserve It?

I was away from the computer for a while one evening. When I returned, I saw that a friend had left an instant message for me. My friend wrote, “Have a good weekend, my friend! You deserve it.”

I smiled when I read that. Yes, I do deserve it. We all deserve it. We all deserve good things. We all deserve a good, restful, and enjoyable weekend. Simply by being alive–indeed, simply by being, period–we deserve goodness.

The Buddha is said to have taught that we are most deserving of our love, affection, and good wishes for happiness. Is that really true? Don’t believe it just because the Buddha said it, or is said to have said it. Don’t believe it just because I’m paraphrasing it here. Try it out in your own experience and see if it’s true.

Look around you. Take a long, honest, sincere look at every being you encounter. Looking deeply at each of them, ask yourself whether they deserve your love and affection? Of course, they do. However, do they deserve your love and affection *more* than you do? That’s a more difficult question, isn’t it?

After considering the issue carefully, if you decide that some other person or being is more deserving than you are, it’s worthwhile to examine why you feel that way. Let’s go for the knockout punch here. Consider the being you consider *most* deserving of your love and kindness.

Do you find this other being *more* deserving than you are because you aren’t loving yourself enough? Are you really loving yourself with all of your being? Do you truly appreciate and love your body, mind, emotions, and spirit?

What is it about the other being that makes him, her, or it more deserving? Don’t accept vague answers from yourself like, “Well, they are more deserving because they just are.” Get specific. What specific qualities does that being have that you don’t?

While wrestling with these questions, I invite you to remember that you don’t know that other being quite as well as you know yourself. You can’t. Yet, you find in that other being sufficient qualities from which you can conclude that he, she, or it deserves to be happy.
Cut yourself some slack. Knowing yourself much more intimately and completely than you can ever really know another, can you give yourself the benefit of the doubt? Can you decide that you are *at least* as deserving of your love, kindness, and good wishes as the most deserving “other” being you can find?

I’m not trying to persuade you of anything. However, I am inviting you to look at yourself with more heartfulness, with more ease. Please consider that your love is truly boundless. You can offer it unconditionally to yourself and still have an amazingly abundant supply to offer to all beings everywhere. The “pie” is big enough for all.

Again, don’t just believe what I’m saying, try it out. Explore it. See if truly loving yourself depletes your supply of love and affection. If it does, then by all means hold onto it in a mean, miserly fashion. However, if you’re honest with yourself, I think you’ll find that unconditionally loving yourself has the opposite effect. Your heart is like an artesian well. As you love yourself fully, much more love gushes to the surface of your heart to share with others. You quickly end up with so much love and kindness you can’t help sharing it. Go ahead and try it. You deserve it.

Directing the Four Immeasurable Minds to Yourself

Love (Lovingkindness)

Metta practice begins with you

Care (Compassion)
Joy
Peace (Equanimity)
Meditation on Your Goodness

A Meditation On Your Goodness

From time to time, it?s valuable to look at ourselves in a way that allows us to see the goodness that is in each of us. In the midst of our daily troubles and concerns, it can be really difficult to see that goodness. Still, it is there.

Developing an appreciation for our own essential goodness is valuable to learning to love God and love our neighbor. In order to really love others, we have to love ourselves. If we see ourselves as unlovable, it will be difficult or impossible to feel loving toward others.

As you move deeper into the practice of appreciating yourself and your goodness, you will likely be pleasantly surprised at just how much goodness you discover inside you. We live in a culture that is intoxicated by notions of perfectionism. As a result of our cultural conditioning, we often see ourselves as ?faulty? or ?lacking? because we don?t feel that we can measure up to our very high standards.

We often dwell upon our so-called ?failures? and ?shortcomings.? Our society often reinforces our feelings of inadequacy. We don?t have to look far to see reminders that we are not the best looking, the most talented, the wealthiest, or the most successful beings on the planet. When the standard of measurement is perfection, no one can really meet it. Oh, we might have a fleeting moment or two when we feel we are adequate according to some external criteria, but those moments are rare.

Nevertheless, if you really look at yourself deeply and honestly, you will see much goodness. Your essential nature, your true self, is a wondrous being, filled with love, kindness, compassion, and joy.

In this meditation exercise, we?ll look at four main areas that can help you appreciate your goodness:

* Your miraculous being
* Things you like about yourself
* Good things you have done
* Your aspiration to be happy

You may want to read the instructions for this meditation a few times before guiding yourself through it. Sit quietly and read the instructions easily and let them drop into your heart and mind as raindrops fall easily into a deep well. When you are ready, you can begin the exercise. Take as much time as you like to do it. I find that 20-30 minutes is a reasonable time to settle into a relatively quiet state and to contemplate my goodness. Depending on your schedule and responsibilities, you can take more or less time, as you consider appropriate.

Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Let yourself be as comfortable as you can. A stiff or painful posture will distract you and will make seeing your goodness much more difficult. This exercise is a way that you can be kind to yourself, so there is no need to struggle with it or to place any demands on yourself.

Let your breathing be natural and easy. If it helps you to feel more centered or grounded, feel free to take a few deep breaths.

If you are new to meditation, or if you have been away from meditation for a while, you can take a few minutes just to get reacquainted with your breath. Take your time and enjoy your breathing. The Buddha offered an entire sutra on the full awareness of the breath, the Anapasati Sutra. It contains a number of structured breathing exercises that you may want to explore at some point in your practice.

While fidgeting and a great deal of movement won?t facilitate the quietness that is most conducive to this exercise, feel free to adjust your position periodically during the meditation if you need to do that to stay comfortable or increase your level of comfort. Struggling to keep yourself absolutely still will also dilute your mindfulness and allow you to descend into a painful state of grasping and attachment. Further, you’re very likely to begin criticizing yourself for your “inability” to follow the meditation instructions “correctly”! Be gentle with yourself.

Let us begin.

Recall that you are a wondrous creation. You have the Buddha nature. You are made in the image and likeness of God. Spend a few moments allowing that reality to settle into your mind and heart. When your mind starts to wander in other directions, simply guide it back gently to recognition of your miraculous nature.

Consider

The many components of your being that are miraculous.

Body

Have you ever considered how amazing your body is? Take a few moments to notice your body and to appreciate it. All the while as you sit or lie down in stillness and calm, your body is engaged in many chemical and physical processes to keep you alive and well.

Mind

Emotions

Spirit

Something that you like about yourself, a personal quality that you value or that others value.

What are the unique gifts that you have?

Something that you have done.

We all do many acts of kindness in our lives, but we don?t often take the time to appreciate them. Sometimes we don?t even notice that we have done them.

Acts of Kindness

Physical Acts of Kindness
To feed the hungry
To shelter the homeless
To clothe the naked
To bury the dead
To support the poor
Mental Acts of Kindness
To counsel the doubtful
To instruct the ignorant
Emotional Acts of Kindness

To visit the sick

To visit the imprisoned

To comfort the sorrowful

Spiritual Acts of Kindness

To admonish the ?sinner?
To forgive all injuries
To bear wrongs patiently
To pray for the living and the dead

Your own aspiration to be happy.

Meditation on Appreciation of the Body

Abbreviated Version

Extended Version

Soles of feet
Toes (moving from inside outward)

Big toe
Index toe
Middle toe
Ring toe
Little toe (pinky)

Toe nails (can be done individually, or as part of appreciation of toes)
Instep
Ankle
Bones of the foot
Muscles of the foot
Ligaments of the foot (connect the bones of foot to each other)
Tendons of the foot (connect the muscles of the foot to the bones of the

foot)

Adipose tissue of the foot (stores energy,

Meditation on Appreciation of the Mind

Abbreviated Version

Extended Version
Sense thoughts
Sight
Hearing
Smell
Taste
Touch

Intelligence

Cognition
Memory
Dreams
Personality
Consciousness
Interpretation
Imagination
Expression

Language
Nonverbal
Meditation on Appreciation of the Emotions

Abbreviated Version

Extended Version

Meditation on Appreciation of the Spirit

Abbreviated Version

Extended Version

Practice: Caring for Ourselves

Physically

How well am I caring for myself physically?
Am I engaged in any actions that harm me physically?
Do I allocate a certain amount of time each day or week to care for myself physically?

What specific things do I do to care for myself physically?
What additional things would I like to do to care for myself physically?
Am I willing to transform the harmful things into positive, beneficial things?

How can I transform the harmful things into positive beneficial things?

Am I willing to commit to doing these additional things?
When will I do them?

Do I avoid things and experiences that can harm me physically?
Will I make myself accountable to a family member or friend who will follow up with me and encourage me to do these things?

Mentally

How well am I caring for myself mentally?
Am I engaged in any actions that harm me mentally?
Do I allocate a certain amount of time each day or week to care for

myself mentally?

What specific things do I do to care for myself mentally?
What additional things would I like to do to care for myself

mentally?
Am I willing to transform the harmful things into positive, beneficial
things?

How can I transform the harmful things into positive beneficial

things?

Am I willing to commit to doing these additional things?
When will I do them?

Do I avoid things and experiences that can harm me mentally?
Will I make myself accountable to a family member or friend who

will follow up with me and encourage me to do these things?

Emotionally

How well am I caring for myself emotionally?
Am I engaged in any actions that harm me emotionally?
Do I allocate a certain amount of time each day or week to care for

myself emotionally?

What specific things do I do to care for myself emotionally?
What additional things would I like to do to care for myself

emotionally?
Am I willing to transform the harmful things into positive, beneficial
things?

How can I transform the harmful things into positive beneficial

things?

Am I willing to commit to doing these additional things?
When will I do them?

Do I avoid things and experiences that can harm me emotionally?
Will I make myself accountable to a family member or friend who

will follow up with me and encourage me to do these things?

Spiritually

How well am I caring for myself spiritually?
Am I engaged in any actions that harm me spiritually?
Do I allocate a certain amount of time each day or week to care for myself spiritually?

What specific things do I do to care for myself spiritually?
What additional things would I like to do to care for myself spiritually?
Am I willing to transform the harmful things into positive, beneficial things?

How can I transform the harmful things into positive beneficial things?

Am I willing to commit to doing these additional things?
When will I do them?

Do I avoid things and experiences that can harm me spiritually?
Will I make myself accountable to a family member or friend who will follow up with me and encourage me to do these things?

Practice: Extending the Acts of Kindness to Ourselves

Physical Acts of Kindness
Feeding myself
Sheltering myself
Clothing myself
Supporting myself economically
Mental Acts of Kindness
Resolving doubt in my mind
Acquiring usual knowledge for myself
Emotional Acts of Kindness

Caring for myself when I am ill

Caring for myself when I am confined

Comforting myself in my sorrow and seeking comfort from others

Spiritual Acts of Kindness

Maintaining a path of right understanding and right action in my life
Practicing forgiveness
Toward myself
Toward others
Giving myself the flexibility and compassion to make mistakes from time to time
Avoiding self-judgment and self-criticism
Praying for myself and engaging in spiritual practices that nourish and heal myself

Practice: Balance and Moderation

How well do I balance the following aspects of my life in relation to one another?

Physical
Mental
Emotional
Spiritual
How well do I practice moderation in the following aspects of my life?
Physical
Mental
Emotional

Spiritual